If you were here, I'd make you walk in the rain with me. We could have an umbrella, if you insisted, or we could just get wet.

Out in the rain we'd just be quiet except to say how beautiful it all is. Haha! Look at the clouds trying to cover the mountains! Look how full the river is! It sure is beautiful. With you here, it wouldn't even seem so cold.

Back in the apartment, after turning on the heater and either changing into dry clothes or putting on more (I would put on my blue 'old man sweater' that I bought in a WA thrift shop years ago), I'd talk to you about the future.

I don't know what it is about the past few days, but I've been full to bursting with how things might be. When I leave Japan in two months, everything is going to change. Thinking about it makes me feel like I've been eating Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. After being hobbled by my low language abilities for so long, I'm going to be swimming in English like a merman in water. After pretending to be straight for the past two years (mostly) I'm going to date again. Maybe fall in love or something.

The whole prospect is really exciting, and even though I would feel bad for repeating myself to you about the same things over and over again, that's what I would do if you were here.

God dammit, I'm comin' home.