If you were here, I'd ask you to do all of my things for me, because I don't feel like doing them.

Kyle was here for a week, and we exhausted ourselves having fun. Now I need to be making worksheet activities to teach these kids how to say "Could you ask him to call me?" and I don't want to do it. I should be studying for my Navy test next Monday, but all I want to do is sleep. I ought to be writing the speech I'll give at the city English festival on Saturday, but instead of that I spend the afternoon and evening reading Wicked. And then there's the Japanese homework I've been neglecting.

Neglecting the things I should be doing has made me antsy and uncomfortable and I really wish you would just do it all for me, okay? Okay.

***

Being here with Kyle was surreal. It was almost like we were in college again, except now we're both out and we've both left the church behind as much as we can. We wandered around and he took pictures. We watched a movie. We stayed up late and talked a lot. We explored.

And we laughed. We laughed so much. We're both so cheesy.

***

Sometimes I get a schedule from hell at the school from hell and I have to remind myself that I'm totally up to this. It's just performance. It's just being goofy. It's just making faces and big gestures and tricking kids into doing work they don't want to do by adding a thin veneer of "fun." Totally within the range of my abilities. It's really just a question of energy, which is maybe a problem after this last excellent week burning the candle at both ends and also in the middle.

***

You know what? I really like Josh Weed. I think he is awesome. I read his Circling the Wagons speech the other day, and I just hummed with pleasure the whole time. He makes sense to me. He seems like the epitome of a guy who is trying to do his best with what he has, which is what I want to be. I guess you could say he's one of my role models. Not for the "married to a woman" thing, but for the "living his truth" thing. It helps that he does okay with words.

***

I just ate a green tea flavored kitkat. It was pretty much identical to white chocolate flavor, with just the slightest hint of green.

***

Wicked is such a depressing book. Kindle says it has about ten percent left to redeem itself . . . not sure if it can do that satisfactorily. I've got the soundtrack playing right now, though, remembering that exquisite night when I watched the play performed at the Orphium theater in San Francisco.

That, plus having written this post, makes me maybe calm enough to go back to putting together handouts for tomorrow.

Good night.